Codify Your Relationship

If I were to ask you if you could state the terms and conditions of your relationship (if you’re in one) would you be able to?

Giving you the benefit of the doubt, maybe you could state them. Would your partner agree that your terms and conditions are also their terms and conditions?

If you’re polyamorous and competent about it, you likely would be able to affirm both of these questions. If you’re monogamous, in my experience, the terms and conditions might be more implicit. You might view them as simply being understood without stating it. If that’s the case, you’re going to want to knock that shit off. You’ll save yourself some potential heartache down the road.

“This sounds like a business deal, it’s supposed to be romantic.” Yes, but the good news is that the two concepts can coexist. When you and someone else start dating, fucking, marrying, or even being friends, you’re agreeing to something, like you would when you sign a contract. As such, you might want to state these things outright to avoid a breach of the contract.

This comes up a lot in conversations around cheating.

“My wife spoke with another man, is that cheating?”

“My husband went to a strip club, is that cheating?”

“My partner wants a threesome, does he want to cheat on me?”