It’s Not the Dating App, it’s You

Anywhere you go, be it in person or on the internet, somebody is going to bring up how awful dating is and why the dating apps are “bad.” And sure, there are some ubiquitous perils of dating, especially on the internet, but sometimes, the problem is with the user. Call it “user error,” if you’d like.

I’m going to focus mostly on the men. Specifically, the men who date women, but women are guilty of many of the same things on dating apps, and where the parts of Venn diagram don’t overlap there lies a separate set of worries out there. For instance, men don’t often text their besties the location of a date, the time of the date, and the person they’re with along with their social media profiles. Statistically, men don’t have to worry about the stimulus of rejection resulting in the response of murder. I would be remiss if I didn’t acknowledge any of that.

“Be Yourself” is Terrible Advice

You’ve heard this advice before, I’m sure. Some well meaning friend or relative that knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that you’re not a piece of shit tells you this after repeated strikeouts in the dating world. Giving you the benefit of the doubt, I’m going to assume you’re not a piece of shit. I’m going to assume you’re a decent person. That being the case, why aren’t you having good conversations that lead anywhere?